Endings and Beginnings

Today is the end of a year, and also the end of a very turbulent and life-changing decade.  This evening, as we celebrate New Year's Eve with our family and friends, we will be doing so under a full moon ... a blue moon, no less, made even more powerful by a partial lunar eclipse in some parts of the world.  If there was ever a time perfect for leaving old things behind us, this is the day. 

I've been silent here for the past few weeks, healing a body that had collapsed in exhaustion from driving myself too hard.  That way of being, of forcing life to bend to my will, is the number one thing that I will leave behind as I enter this new era.  My intention is to allow God to direct my path from this day forth, and to skip joyfully down the road of life like a little child, amazed and grateful for everything that comes my way. 

Looking back, I realize that while I preach gratitude, my actions and thoughts have been telling a different story.  My constant striving for MORE ... more achievements, more knowledge, more money, more love ... is the exact opposite of what I want for all of you.  If we are truly grateful for what we have, then we see what we have as ENOUGH.  My intention for this next phase of life is to stop striving, and to be content with what I have now, knowing that it is all perfect, just the way it is.  I plan to stop tinkering with my life and instead to just stand still and enjoy it. 

One thing I hadn't planned to give up quite yet is my job at the pool store.  I've enjoyed working there.  I didn't make much money, but it was enough.  I had total freedom to do whatever I thought needed to be done, and over the past year I've turned it into a beautiful, well-run business, and a very happy place to be.  This week, though, I found out that constant low-grade exposure to chlorine gas and other chemicals has harmed my lungs and compromised my liver, doing serious harm to my immune system.  My body, which was strong and healthy a year ago, is now unable to fight off even the smallest virus, and I've been sick with colds since Thanksgiving.  So today, I will let the owner know that I am leaving.  He will be surprised and dismayed, but that is his path to walk. 

This means that I walk into this new year and this new decade with an uncertain future.  But rather than make me afraid, I find that I am excited and exhilarated by the possibilities.  I know that I will be fine, and that whatever money I need will find its way to me.  My plan is to be happy, and grateful, and filled with love for whoever crosses my path. 

I wish the same for all of you.  There are things in your life which no longer serve you.  If ever there was a time to open your hand and let things fly away in the wind, this is the day.  What will you leave behind you as you step into this new year and this new decade?  What burdens will you release so that you can finally be happy, joyous, and free?  What new joys and wonders will you welcome into your life? 

I wish you all a Grateful and Happy New Year, filled with infinite love and gratitude.  

Emotional Healing: or, Why we need pets

I cried today, for no good reason.  I was going along, slow but sure, doing my job, when all of a sudden a huge wave of emotion knocked me down and I suddenly found myself depressed.  Thankfully, December is a very slow month at the pool store, so since I didn't have any customers to deal with, I let myself cry. 

I spent many years depressed.  Suicidal, actually.  Every day I would have to search for reasons to stay alive, because on most days, I woke up determined to end my life.  Every day, I had to mentally search my world for a reason that I should live just one more day.  On most of those days, I stayed alive for my cat, Pearl.  She needed me.  I knew that she would not survive without me.  She was afraid of most people, and I couldn't think of anyone compassionate enough to give her the special care that she required.  And so I stayed, always just for one more day.  This period in my life gives the saying "One Day at a Time" new meaning for me.  Same with "Choose Life."  It means something different to me than what was intended by the bumper stickers.

Pain

Today's blog post is borrowed from Facebook friend Deavon DiPrima.  It was such a beautiful clue that I wanted to share it with you here:

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Once a young man came to a revered teacher, who was seated under a tree near a beautiful lake, and asked for the solution for his unhappiness. After some minutes of conversation the old master kindly instructed the visitor to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and then to drink a few mouthfuls. "How does it taste?" the teacher asked. "Awful," said the apprentice after he had spat out the revolting liquid a few paces away.

Wishes Fulfilled: Wayne Dyer, Part 2

Part 2 of a review of Wayne Dyer's Keynote Speech at the Hay House I Can Do It Conference, Tampa 2009. The ideas are Dyer's, sometimes fleshed out with a few of my own. The following represents what I, personally, took away from that lecture.  This lecture is a prevew to Dyer's Book, Wishes Fulfilled.

In my in my last post,  I shared a synopsis of Wayne Dyer's introduction to his opening keynote at the Hay House I Can Do It Conference in Tampa.  In his opening, Dyer explains that if we want to make our world a better place, we must first change our beliefs about who we are and what is possible for us. If we want to raise the consciousness of our planet, we must first raise our own consciousness to the highest level.