Plan Be: Surviving Winter

I've been on sabatical since just before Thanksgiving.  Until then I had been writing a daily blog, dutifully getting up hours before dawn to post a fresh article before I started my day job at the pool store.  It was a lot of work, but it was a wonderful run!  I was energized and enthused.  I learned things as I wrote, and I grew quite a bit as a result of practicing what I was learning.   My life was flourishing, like a tropical garden in midsummer.  And then came winter, and suddenly I found myself completely exhausted.

Winter was harsh this year.  Here on central Florida's east coast we laugh about our three days of winter.  Oh, it may get down into the 30's or even the 20's some nights, and we may even experience a hard freeze from time to time.  Usually, though, it only lasts a couple of days and then we all breathe a sigh of orange-blossom-scented relief as we head out to the beach to enjoy the sunshine.  I look forward to winter, because I finally am able to open up all the windows without drowning in humid air.   This year, though, winter was exceptionally cold; the freeze lasted for weeks.  Heaters ran non-stop, and plants did their best to save themselves by sacrificing limbs and retreating to their core.  Many didn't make it:  twelve of our palm trees froze to death. 

As this harshest of all winters approached, my body began to shut down as if it knew, somehow, that a long, deep freeze was on the way.  I was sick in bed for many weeks with two very bad colds.  When I recovered, I never seemed to regain my former momentum.  I had plenty of ideas, I just wasn't motivated to write them down.  I thought that maybe I should feel guilty about that, so I consulted my very wise Fairy Godmother.

"Fairy Godmother, how can I motivate myself to get back on track and start writing again?" I asked.

"What on earth for, dear?"  she wanted to know.

"Because that's the plan.  I've got talks to give and stuff to write.  I've got some very clear goals.  I've written them down, see?"

I was a bit exasperated as I noticed her puzzled look.  Why wasn't she getting this?  

"That's very nice, dear," she answered.  "But why?  It all sounds very busy.  Maybe you should consider Plan Be?"

OK, now she was just being cryptic!

"What's Plan B, Fairy Godmother?" I asked, as patiently as I could.

"No, child.  Plan Be.  Just be.  Just stop, and breathe, and be who you are.  You really don't have to do anything at all."

I really had no answer to that.  Could it be that easy? 

"You see, it's winter now," she explained.  "Winter isn't the time to bustle about and be busy with activity.  Winter is the time to turn within, and to conserve energy.  You'll be ready to work again when spring comes.  You'll know when it's time.  Until then, just be happy."

My Fairy Godmother is very wise, and so I listened to her.  Instead of pushing myself to write, I started singing again, and joyfully lost myself in Dvorak and Mozart and Rutter.  I removed all expectations from myself for a time, and simply played, like a child.  I built a Narnian wonderland in the woods beside my house where I laughed and played with my friends, and I flitted, carefree, after whatever shallow diversions crossed my path.  I pursued only one goal:  Be Happy.  And somewhere along the way, as I played my childish games and shunned any unnecessary adult responsibilities, I became all fresh and new.

Now, like a daffodil pushing up through the snow, my soul seems to be shrugging off the heaviness of winter and is urging me once again to tap out my musings on this laptop.  And although the writing process is comfortable and familiar, the motivation behind my writing seems to have morphed over these dormant winter months.   I no longer feel driven to write with any specific goal in mind; rather, my writing wants to just happen, like the bloom on a spring flower.

I can't predict what I will choose to write about.  I guess we will find out together.

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My thanks to Robert J. Korpella for the gorgeous photo, "Jonquils."  You can see more of his beautiful photography at Freshare.net, a community of people who enjoy the Ozarks outdoors.  While you're at it, you'll also want to check out his blog at Amblin Cafe.  It's one of my favorite reads.