CLUE: Examining Our Limiting Beliefs About Money with Byron Katie

Today while I was spending my imaginary money in the Prosperity Project, I came across some limiting beliefs that have been keeping me from attracting money into my life. It reminded me of The Work of Byron Katie, who teaches a simple yet effective method for examining our beliefs and turning them around so that they better serve us. I think as we continue with the Prosperity Project we will be finding many of our limiting beliefs about money will surface as we hit against the walls that are keeping the money from flowing to us. So today's clue is a method for working through those limiting beliefs as we come up against them in the next few weeks and months.

If you're unfamiliar with The Work of Byron Katie, here is a short video demonstrating how she explores and then turns around the limiting belief: "You need more money, Is that true?"

Doing The Work begins by filling out a Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet. The theory is that the things that really drive us crazy about other people's behavior or a situation we think is unbearable, are a direct clue to uncovering our limiting beliefs. Here is what the worksheet looks like:

The Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet

Fill in the blanks below, writing about someone (dead or alive) you haven’t yet forgiven one hundred percent. Use short, simple sentences. Don’t censor yourself—try to fully experience the anger or pain as if the situation were occurring right now. Take this opportunity to express your judgments on paper.

1. Who angers, confuses, saddens, or disappoints you, and why? What is it about them that you don’t like?
I am ________________ at ____________________ because __________________________________________________.
Example: I am angry at Paul because he doesn’t listen to me, he doesn’t appreciate me, he argues with everything I say.

2. How do you want them to change?
What do you want them to do?
I want ________________ to __________________________
___________________________________________________.
Example: I want Paul to see that he is wrong.
I want him to apologize.

3. What is it that they should or shouldn't do, be, think, or feel? What advice could you offer?
________________ should/shouldn't_____________________
___________________________________________________.
Example: Paul should take better care of himself. He shouldn't argue with me.

4. What do they need to do in order for you to be happy?
I need________________ to ___________________________
___________________________________________________.
Example: I need Paul to hear me and respect me.

5. What do you think of them? Make a list.
________________ is _________________________________
____________________________________________________.
Example: Paul is unfair, arrogant, loud, dishonest, way out of line, and unconscious

6. What is it that you don't want to experience with that person again?
I don't ever want to __________________________________
____________________________________________________.
Example: I don’t ever want to feel unappreciated by Paul again. I don’t ever want to see him smoking and ruining his health again.

*****

Be brutally honest when you're filling out the worksheet. When you're finished, take each of the six sentences you've written, and then ask the following four questions:

Is it true?

Can you absolutely know that it's true?

How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?

Who would you be without the thought?

Then turn it around (the concept you are questioning), and don't forget to find three genuine, specific examples of each turnaround.

Each turnaround is an opportunity to experience the opposite of your original statement and see what you and the person you've judged have in common.

A statement can be turned around to the opposite, to the other, and to the self (and sometimes to "my thinking," wherever that applies). Find a minimum of three genuine, specific examples in your life where each turnaround is true.

For example, "Paul doesn't understand me" can be turned around to "Paul does understand me." Another turnaround is "I don't understand Paul." A third is "I don't understand myself."

Examples of Turnarounds

Here are a few more examples of turnarounds:

"He should understand me" turns around to:
- He shouldn't understand me. (This is reality.)
- I should understand him.
- I should understand myself.

"I need him to be kind to me" turns around to:
- I don't need him to be kind to me.
- I need me to be kind to him. (Can I live it?)
- I need me to be kind to myself.

"He is unloving to me" turns around to:
- He is loving to me. (To the best of his ability)
- I am unloving to him. (Can I find it?)
- I am unloving to me (When I don't inquire.)

"Paul shouldn't shout at me" turns around to:
- Paul should shout at me. (Obviously: In reality, he does sometimes. Am I listening?)
- I shouldn't shout at Paul.
- I shouldn't shout at me.
(In my head, am I playing over and over again Paul's shouting? Who's more merciful, Paul who shouted once, or me who replayed it a 100 times?)

Embracing Reality

After you have turned around the judgments in your answers to numbers 1 through 5 on the Worksheet (asking if they are as true or truer), turn number 6 around using "I am willing ..." and "I look forward to ..."

For example, "I don't ever want to experience an argument with Paul" turns around to "I am willing to experience an argument with Paul" and "I look forward to experiencing an argument with Paul." Why would you look forward to it?

Number 6 is about fully embracing all of mind and life without fear, and being open to reality. If you experience an argument with Paul again, good. If it hurts, you can put your thoughts on paper and investigate them. Uncomfortable feelings are merely the reminders that we've attached to something that may not be true for us. They let us know that it's time to do The Work.

Until you can see the enemy as a friend, your Work is not done. This doesn't mean you must invite him to dinner. Friendship is an internal experience. You may never see him again, you may even divorce him, but as you think about him are you feeling stress or peace?

It's time that we heal our limiting beliefs against money. Tomorrow we will find another clue that will help us to do just that. Until then ...