Asking the Right Questions

Most of us stumble through life without knowing exactly where we are headed, and not a clue as to how to get there.  Our lives unfold haphazardly, as we react to the seemingly random people and situations who cross our paths.  We walk through life as if through a dream, believing our dream to be real.  Eventually, some of us become tired of bumping around in the dark, and begin to search for answers, or at least a few clues. We learn to ask questions of life.

Questions are very powerful, because if we ask a question often enough, Spirit will always reward us with an answer.  It's important to choose our questions carefully.  Our questions can empower us, or they can continue to keep us bound in negativity and strife.  What kind of questions do you ask?

Maybe these questions sound familiar to you:  Why does this keep happening to me?  When will I ever find someone?  Why can't he ever pick up his clothes?  Why does the car break down every time I've got a few dollars saved?  Why am I the only one who ever does any work around here?  Why can't that kid just do what I tell him to do? Could you drive any slower?  I could go on, but you get the idea.

We may not realize it, but what we say to ourselves holds immense power over how our lives unfold.  When we ask questions like these, we think that we are just blowing off steam, but in reality we are reinforcing the exact things that we would like to see changed.  We always get the answers to our questions, so if you are wanting to know why your spouse is always lazy, you will be sure to get more and more experience with a lazy spouse. So, let's learn to ask more empowering questions.

When I reached the darkest point of my life, I ran off to DC to live with my brother for a while.  I knew that whatever I was doing was wrong, and staying with my brother was a way of regaining my center.  I knew that meditation would help me find my way out of the darkness, but I didn't know how to go about it.  Because I had been asking the question, "How do I meditate," I was led to the sangha of the Venerable Zen Master PoHwa Sunim in Alexandria, Virginia.  Sunim was wonderful.  The first night I met with him, he took a long hard look at me and said, "All of the problems that you see come from within you; all of the answers that you seek also come from within you."  Sunim teaches that when you sit in zazen you must also have a question; otherwise, you are just sitting quietly.  Brains need something to work on, and a question gives our brains an anchor while we meditate.  

Here is the question that Sunim gives to his students:  "By what means am I breathing?"  You gotta love zen questions.  It really is a brilliant question for meditation, since we are focusing on our breath while we are asking it.  It also is a question you could ask your whole life and never really know the answer to.  It focuses on the point in our bodies where spirit meets flesh.  It also serves to bring us outside of ourselves so that we become the silent observer instead of the one embroiled in drama.

As fascinating a Sunim's question was, though, it is not necessarily the type of question that I'm talking about here, although the process is the same:  Get quiet, ask your question.  Repeat.  Here are some examples of some empowering everyday questions you could ask yourself:

• How can I make this better?
• How can I learn to get along better with my boss/spouse/child/neighbor/co-worker? 
• How can I gain control over my diet and exercise?  
• How can I take this idea and turn it into money?  
• How can I find time to work on my dream? 

If you want to get even deeper, try some of these questions:

• What is it that I really want?  
• What does it really mean to love someone?  
• What can I find to be grateful for today? 
• What can I learn from this?  
• How can I add value to someone's life today?  
• How can I use my greatest talents to make a difference? 
• How can be of service?  
  

The questions we ask ourselves really matter.  If we want to get really good answers, we need to learn to ask great questions.  At the very least, when you catch yourself asking those disempowering questions, STOP.   Here at The New Book of Clues, we specialize in questions.  At best, we'll find a few clues along the way.  If it's answers you want, I suggest you look inside yourself.  The answers you seek will be there waiting.