I had a fascinating discussion last night with a master networker. So fascinating, in fact, that long after it was over I couldn't stop thinking about what I had learned from it. Have you ever had one of those moments where you learned something so profound that you suddenly realized that until this moment you had pretty much just been throwing sand in the wind? Last night's discussion was like that. Instead of sleeping, which is what I really, desperately, needed to be doing, I lay awake thinking about ways I could implement what I had learned.
As the title to this blog hints, the discussion was about focus, specifically as it applies to business networking. Now, I've spent a lot of time on these pages talking about having a Clear Definite Aim, and about consistently holding a Clear Mental Image of that aim firmly in view. I've explored how knowing exactly what you want is the first step toward manifesting it. We spent a week doing exercises learning how to discover what it is that we really want, and we practiced spending time visualizing ourselves already having it. Yet out there in the networking world, my efforts have been unfocused and vague. I guess that explains why I've only gotten meager results. Why is that?
The first answer that comes to mind is that what I REALLY want, my absolute Clear Definite Aim, has nothing whatsoever to do with the reason why I am out there networking in the first place. I have vastly conflicting objectives that tend to blur the focus of my networking laser beam. Here's the situation: I have a passion for The Attitude of Gratitude Project; my Clear Definite Aim is to help people learn to see the world through grateful eyes. It is the greatest gift that I know to give to this planet full of people; it is why I am here. I have watched people come to the Project confused and dark and in despair, and over time I have watched them blossom and learn to smile at whatever life brings their way. I have watched people overcome depression, alcoholism and loneliness by changing the way that they see their life and by consciously choosing to cultivate a grateful attitude.
Seems clear enough, right? Except that my job when I'm out networking has nothing to do with that Project. The Project is my gift to the world; I make no revenue from it. I wouldn't even know how to monetize it ... I've spent months wondering how to make that happen, and still come up with nothing. One of the things that makes The Attitude of Gratitude Project work is that I specifically allow no promotion of any kind to happen on that Page. I brutally delete any links that people try to post, no matter how well-meaning they may be. The only links I personally post are to the Living Gratitude Blog, which is an extension of the Project. The rules I've imposed, the ones that help make the Project so successful, are the same rules that prevent me from monetizing it.
In a perfect world, I would spend every networking minute promoting gratitude, and the rest of my time writing about gratitude, speaking about gratitude, living gratitude. Unfortunately, since I haven't figured out a way to make that pay, I must spend the biggest part of my day working a job that has nothing to do with my Clear Definite Aim ... which really messes up the focus part! When I'm out networking in the business world, my job is to promote the pool store. Although I enjoy my job at the pool store (I tend to enjoy myself no matter what I do ... it's a by-product of being grateful), I don't really have a passion for it. I don't swim. I hate being out in the Florida heat. Irrigation doesn't inspire me. It's a job that pays the bills. I do, however, very much enjoy networking ... mostly because I love interacting with people. It's interesting that even though I'm paid to network for the pool store, I seem to be known out there as the Gratitude Girl.
Back to last night's discussion. In my networking rounds, I am fortunate to have recently met Phil Ruthven, author of The Rubber Monkey, a blog that teaches the correct way to promote your business through networking. In an effort to help me get better results from my networking, Phil asked me some questions about the pool store that made me realize why I am getting no useful referrals. Basically, when I am out there talking about the pool store, my message is unclear. People know that I work at the pool store, but since I am unclear about what I need, people are unclear about how to help me. When it comes to the pool store I have no Clear Mental Image of my Clear Definite Aim. I have no focus.
Phil has generously offered to work with me over the next few weeks to help me decide on what he calls my Clear Message about the pool store (notice how all of these terms use the word Clear???). I look forward to working with Phil; I enjoy learning new skills, and I enjoy even more spending time with enthusiastic people. I'm certain that he can help me ... he's a very good teacher.
But that's not what kept me up all night. I'm concerned about the fact that all the time I spend working for the pool store diverts my time and energy away from my real Clear Definite Aim. I want to spend my days promoting gratitude: writing books, speaking to groups of people, and coaching individuals. I want THAT to be my job. As I'm at the pool store every day going about the business of earning my paycheck, what I'm really thinking about is my Big Dream. How do I juggle the two, completely unrelated, goals?
I know I'm not the only one who finds themself in this situation. I bet most people I know have a dream that has no relation whatsoever to the job they currently hold. What is the solution to that? How is it possible to work with laser focus toward our Big Dream while spending the largest part of every day working a job? That is the question that kept me up all night.
As often happens, I have no answers; only a question. I've learned, though, that if we ask the right questions, the answers will come. Meanwhile, I'll continue to be grateful: that I have a job that pays the bills, that I have a Big Dream, that I am surrounded by love, and that I have plenty of wonderful teachers. What are you grateful for today?
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